Normally monday is for MONDAY MUSE, something funny, something to kick off your day and not let that “oh no it’s monday again” feel weigh you down. But today I dey provoke. I woke up all happy and joyful for reasons best know to me :), but o remembered a conversation with a friend yesterday that really saddened me. So lets get to it. I hope this does some good out there. Enjoy!!!
It was a Thursday in January 2016, I remember we had just come back to the office from marketing and everyone was in a good mood. As always the Fred was teasing the ladies. It was a habit we had grown accustomed to. Even Anita, his office nemesis was not taking shots at him.
We were in our usual spot at the back, Kabirat, Ene and Ify were doing some aproko work at the front desk when a young couple walked in and as always everyone was stretching neck to find out if it was their clients. Apparently they were a walk-in customer so the ladies at the front desk took charge. They had good taste because their bill was about seven hundred thousand Naira. We were all hoping one of us will be picked to take the commission on the deal. Fred had already gone to make his pitch to the ladies. Man must hustle.
“. . . . I can’t believe he was even this bold to be carrying her about” I overheard Ene say as I walked back from the restroom. Apparently one of the ladies knew the man.
“Men shaaaaa” Ify joined.
“Wetin? Wetin? Una no go just free us” Fred retorted playfully. “What if he is just helping a friend?”
“Na so. Helping friend when his wife is at home abi?” Kaburat replied rolling her eyes. “Why cant he go and help his wife? It is like they use it to curse you people. You must always cheat”.
“A aah why you come dey personalise am na? When you see me cheat?” Fred pretended to be offended.
“I no know oh” Hassan another marketer who was charging his phone at the front desk joined in.
“Haba not all men are cheats oh” I added to support the guys.
“That’s what they all say” Ene replied waving me off.
“A ah, Ene as I am like this now you will say I can cheat?” I teased.
“E no dey show for face” Ify shouted and we all laughed.
“Muyiwa you? Na una wey dey always look innocent do am pass sef” Ene shot at me.
“Yeee!!!” I exclaimed, “A aah, no now” I tried to defend myself.
“Sha me I don’t even send, if my husband likes he should cheat, if he likes he shouldn’t. He should not just do it to my knowing oh” Ene added.
“Abi oh. At least i will have my kids. They won’t cheat on me” Kabirat added.
I was taken aback. Or was it confused sef. I had to confirm.
“Wait you girls have already predicted cheating in your future?” I asked because none of them were married.
“Nigerian men can’t be trusted. Better to prepare your mind” Ene said. I was shocked. We talked about cheating in relationships and marriages and the day went on. But those words stuck to me.
Soooooooo, Fast forward to yesterday. I had a conversation with a friend and the same statement came up. It is sad to know there are women out there who feel they will be cheated upon in marriage. But what is even worse is they have factored it into their lives as a constant and have accepted that it is okay and they will live with it.
What happened people? When did we get to this point? Is it because of societal pressures? Social media stories? Celebrity news? Breakups around us? Stories of cheating and infidelities that have corrupted our minds to the point we are willing to settle for less? Are you telling me there are no men and women who can be faithful? If yes, are you telling me you don’t deserve such people?
Is it because you have cheated before and so you feel karma is coming for you? (If that is the case I understand. Go with God and may the odds be ever in your favour). If not the stated case, why will you feel it is okay to accept that “because of how the world is” (that’s what i always hear) it is hard to find that faithful person.
Please don’t get me wrong it is not easy to be faithful. It is not easy to be faithful while single sef talk more of when in a relationship, but it is possible. And if it is possible why don’t we advocate for it? Women why don’t you demand it? One thing I know about men (please when I say men I am talking about the ones that have sense in their brains) is if you make yourself worth it they will gun for you. How do you expect a man to hear his female friends whom he holds in high regard and who are successful and making it say they expect to be cheated upon in marriage and still feel he will want to be faithful?
Women teach your sons, your brothers, your male friends to stand up. To the men, be faithful.
To be man no be by who fit give woman belle – African proverb
To the men out there: do better. Just because you are given a free pass (because to me that statment is a free pass) doesn’t mean you should take it. Nobody holy pass, I just dey come from school make i go find food my people. God bless you all.
Have a great week.
For those who might want to say both sexes cheat, thanks for the know fact. Today I want to talk about the men. Cheers